Nerezza Eterna
by theperfectcrime
Summary: It wasn’t fair to them. So I held my own and walked in the opposite direction, for once not feeling anything but the bittersweet numbness radiating from somewhere inside me.." -- This is the story of Jasper Whitlock. Before Alice. Before the Cullens..
1. Uno

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(**Jasper's POV.**)

As I turned to wave goodbye one last time to Peter and Charlotte, I felt a sharp pang of guilt. They were the ones who saved me from an even _more_ wretched existence than I was already damned to. They had accepted my depression and taken care of me the best they could when I was with them. I also felt the guilt because I could feel their sympathy towards me. Remembering the whole 'I-share-feelings-with-everyone-in-a-ten-mile-radius' thing, I quickly hid my own feelings and sent out a feeling of content-ness. I could see that my leaving was going to cause them pain, but I knew that me staying would cause them an even greater pain. When I could not control it, they could feel my agonizing depression just as I could feel their every emotion. It wasn't fair to them. So I held my own and walked in the opposite direction, for once not feeling anything but the bittersweet numbness radiating from somewhere inside me.

I wasn't sure how long I had been walking. Minutes? Days? Decades? It didn't actually matter to me anymore. Everything I had known was starting to blend together and lose its meaning. I didn't really feel anything anymore.

Except the thirst. I could feel the thirst with every ounce of my indestructible being. I could the yearning, the need, from deep within my core. I could feel the burning in my throat with every passing second. It didn't smell, or look, as if I was anywhere within a close proximity of a city. And I wasn't about to resort to the near-by wildlife. So I broke out into a run.

After some time, I began to see a glimpse of a clearing ahead. As I began to sprint, the monster in my head was rejoicing. That's when all the smells started to hit me: The smell of gasoline, a diner a few miles off, a lemon tree, and best of all -- humans. Or rather, human. I could only smell the closest human to me: about 2.6 miles from where I was standing. I became intoxicated with the scent, letting my darker instincts take over. Venom started to pool in my mouth. The yearning in the back of my throat turned into a full-fledged wildfire that I could feel with every atom in my body. The voice in my head was screaming at me to quench my thirst. A shiver went down my spine. I couldn't believe I'd let myself get so thirsty.

I didn't recall even thinking about running, but that's what I found myself doing. Two miles left. One and a half. One. I stopped to look at the human to plan my attack.

She was alone. There was no one near her within a few miles. She was advanced in her age, for a human. Very frail. I started running again.

As I approached the woman, I saw that she was sitting on a park bench, facing sideways to me. Maybe I could sneak up on her and she wouldn't feel anything. She was obviously hard of hearing, so it shouldn't be a problem. Each step I toke towards her sent wave after wave of emotion through me. Sorrow, loneliness, grief. Multiplied by thousands. The woman had obviously lost someone close to her. Very close to her. I made my footsteps as quiet as possible as I slowly closed the distance between us. I was about 3 feet away when the human finally sensed me. She looked all around her, finally seeing me. Not only did I hear her gasp, but I could feel her awe as she took me in. I pitied her if only slightly, remembering a similar feeling when seeing Maria for the very first time. The woman had tired eyes, a weak heart, and graying hair. As she slowly came to the realization that she wouldn't be breathing much longer, two emotions were prominent to the rest: Recognition and relief.

She knew what I was, and she was relieved to be dying.

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**Author's Note: Ah, yes. The extremely short chapter strikes back! Well, this is only chapter one. And my weakest chapter at that. If anyone at all is interested in the posting of the second chapter, review or PM. Please & Thank You. -- G.**


	2. Due

**Author's Note: First and foremost, Thank you to _ElusivePoet_ and _LGF._ This chapter would not be up if not for you. I would just like to say that the first two chapters are extremely monotoneous and slightly boring. This is due to the fact that Alice has yet to come into Jasper's life. (Yes I know, how cute.) So for any of you who have bothered to read this, it gets a WHOLE lot better after this chapter. So, on that note, I give you Chapter Two of Nerezza Eterna :**

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The fire was beginning to get worse, so I stopped breathing and started focusing. I sent out a round of tranquility, more for my benefit than for the woman's. She closed her eyes, and tilted her head to the left. I took the soundless steps toward her, closing the last bit of remaining distance between us. I leaned my head down towards the exposed flesh on her neck, smiling in anticipation. I inhaled, marveling in the aroma that now filled my nostrils.

I brought my venom-filled mouth to the skin on her neck, and slowly sank my razorblade teeth into her soft skin. The warm, sweet liquid flowed freely now, hitting my tongue with ease and trickling down my throat. I could almost feel it nourishing and strengthening my body. I marveled at how divine the texture and taste human was. Almost as if it were meant to be a food source..

I was savoring each and every drop of the humans' blood. No where in the depths of her emotions could I feel any ounce of fear. Just the relief.

With her last dying breath, she whispered two words that will be forever committed to my memory as long as I shall exist: "Thank you."

And then, all too soon, her blood ran thin and stopped flowing.

After disposing of the evidence, I started running again. I didn't let myself think, I only ran. The sun came up, and then set again. I passed town after town, keeping as much distance as possible.

I knew all the running was in vain. Nothing was chasing me, and I had no destination. I was only running to get away from the one thing I could never truly escape: Myself.

I ran harder.

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I eventually realized that the running was doing nothing except using up my blood supply.

I looked around, trying to make sense of the unfamiliar surroundings.

No such luck.

The thoughts I had been trying so hard to hold back broke past their barrier and starting ambushing me.

You just killed an innocent woman; A _grieving_ woman.

I attempted to comfort myself with thoughts of her being grateful. Besides, she knew too much. I was only saving the Volturri a trip down here.. Wherever "here" was. I only put her out of her misery.

I wasn't comforted.

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I hadn't the slightest idea what year it was. I had lost all sense of time, all sense of everything. The sun setting and rising was the only indication of time passing. Everything was remarkably monotonous. Nothing stood out or interested me anymore.

Even hunting became like a cycle. A vicious, depressing cycle. I could feel each and every victims' emotions. Mixed with my own progressing depression, it was unbearable at times. I had attempted to abstain from any form of killing. I would start to feel the slightest bit better, -- aside from the thirst -- only to relapse, kill more than ever, and continue to spiral down.

In the beginning I had days where I'd actually considered going back to Maria. At least when I was with her I had a purpose. In the end, I could never quite bring myself to follow through. After some time, I began to realize that all the hatred she had instilled in me, was now directed at her. She damned me to this rootless and macabre existence. And she did it for her own selfish needs.

I knew that I was in a town that the humans referred to as "Philadelphia." This town was a large town by human standards: Plenty of blood. I wasn't sure if the thought pleased or repulsed me, but I did need to remain inconspicuous.

I was slowly allowing myself to get closer to the humans with each passing day. Never too close, but close enough to absorb some of their happiness. Their light, shallow happiness.

Years were passing by uneventfully; I knew this because the dates on the newspaper stands continued to change.

I walked around at night, feeling a sort of companionship with the city. Philadelphia was a fairly sunny city, so I kept my distance the majority of the time.

As I walked aimlessly through the woods one day, the roaring sound in my ears finally began to register in my thoughts.

I looked up from the ground, noticed for the very first time how wet everything looked. I looked up to the sky, only to get hit in the eye with a droplet of water.

Oh, right. Its _raining._

The sun was no where to be found so I decided to venture out into the streets.

I was immediately assaulted by what seemed like thousands of smells.

The blood of course, the car exhaust, tree sap, cat hair. The rain only magnified everything.

It was uncomfortable, to say the least. Being near so many humans at one time.

It wasn't until I noticed a young human child staring at my eyes that I even thought about my appearance. The child was tugging one the sleeve of her mothers dress, her eyes wide.

I could practically smell the fear radiating off of her.

Immediately feeling guilty, I spun on my heel and strode back into the forest.

I just couldn't resist the city on those rare, rainy days. It was day such as those when I felt the least depressed.

In the beginning, as a pre-caution, I always made sure I was well-fed before getting closer to the humans. Eventually, without realizing it, I had begun to get less and less cautious. I started to focus on keeping my eyes dark rather than keeping myself well-fed. This helped my self-control some, but not much.

It was one of those rare, overcast days. I was walking around the less populated parts of town. I was still uncomfortable being out in day time.

It started to downpour. The rain was intensifying the smell of blood, among other smells. It was beginning to drive me mad, so I ducked into a near-by, half-empty diner.

_Whoops._ **Big Mistake.**

Being in such a limited amount of space with any amount of humans was enough to make me snap, if the rain wasn't.

But as I looked up, I saw something that would have made me forget even the very worst case of bloodlust -- something I thought to be impossible.

As I looked up, I saw a vampire. A woman. Waiting for me.

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**Okay, if you made it this far, why not just read this last bit? **

Any guesses as to who the vampire woman might be? Do you really even need to guess?  
OH, before I forget: Nerezza Eterna is Italian for 'Eternal Darkness.' My chapter titles are also being counted in Italian.  
Anyways, you made it through the first two chapters. Congrats. As I said, it gets a whole lot better after this. That is, if anyone is interested in reading it. Review/PM if you are.

Thanks for reading! -- Gabrielle. 


	3. Tre

**_AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes. Its been forever. I do have a valid excuse thought. Ask me in a review/PM if you want to know. I'm REALLY sorry for anyone who's reading this. Without further edo: _**

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Last time: _But as I looked up, I saw something that would make me forget even the very worst kind of bloodlust -- something I thought to be impossible. _

As I looked up, I saw a vampire. A woman. Waiting for me.  


Without even thinking about it, I undoubtedly knew she was the most beautiful creature I'd ever laid eyes on. She was the most beautiful creature I'd ever laid eyes on. She was very petite -- short with a very small frame -- but had the perfect amount of curves, She had short, spiky intensely-black hair and flawless facial features. She was breathtaking, to say the least.

There was one complete moment where everything was silent. All I was aware of was her looking at me and me staring right back.

I never felt so many emotions at one time. I couldn't recognize the half of them. The instinct part of me assumed she was going to attack, Yet my head and my heart wanted to run to her, be everything she ever wanted.

She hopped down from her barstool, a smile playing on her perfect lips. She walked with a slight spring in her step, with more grace than I knew it was possible to have.

I was only vaguely aware of the humans around us watching our every move. In that instant, I didn't really care. I could see the men throwing envious glares directed at me from my peripheral vision. If I had cared enough to look, I probably would have laughed.

She stopped at arms length. She was more beautiful up close -- if that was even possible. We just stood there for a while, not saying anything, just staring.

"You've kept me waiting a long time." She smirked. Her voice sounded like a beautifully orchestrated symphony.

Without thinking, I bowed my head and said "I'm sorry ma'am." I really wanted to hear her voice again, although it was already committed to memory. She took a nervous glance around, though somehow she wasn't quite focusing on her surroundings.

She giggled. "Perhaps we should continue this conversation at a more private location." She hinted.

It didn't matter if she had asked me to time travel backwards and bring her back a dinosaur egg -- I would do anything she asked of me.

She reached for my hand, and I took it without even stopping to make sense of what I was doing. It didn't matter.

As I took her hand, I gasped. I didn't recognize what it was for a moment. An unknown feeling, seeping its way into my soul. It startled me when I finally realized what it was. Something I hadn't felt in over a century: hope.

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**Okay, I know this was UBER short. This chapter and the next were originally combined, but the next part is ridiculously long and this seemed like a good place for a break. The next chapter is soooo much better, I swear by it. Please me patient with me! **

Chapter four WILL be up ASAP. Tomorrow morning at the lastest, I promise. 


	4. Quattro

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Woo! Two chapters in under three hours? Who's good? Show me your love -- review please, loves.**

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_  
Last time: As I took her hand, I gasped. I didn't recognize what it was for a moment. An unknown feeling, seeping its way into my soul. It startled me when I finally realized what it was. Something I hadn't felt in over a century: hope._

As she led me through the forest, I felt as if I could fly. Maybe I already was. We winded through the trees, taking our time. I didn't bother to ask where we were going; I honestly didn't care.

We finally stopped and sat next to a creek. We spent the whole walk up here in silence, wallowing in the pure ecstasy of being around each other. She giggled. "I bet your thinking about how strange it is that have yet to be properly introduced, and yet here we are, hand in hand sitting my a creek." She started.

"Actually, the thought hadn't registered until just now. But I suppose your right. I'm Jasp--"

"Jasper Whitlock soon-to-be Hale. I know. Trust me, I know. What I don't know is who I am. Aside from my name. Mary Alice Brandon, by the way. Soon to be known as Alice Cullen."

I stared at her, my expression halfway between amazement and terror-struck. She just grinned down at the flowing water.

"Perhaps I should explain myself…" She said quietly.

"Perhaps." I repeated sarcastically.

"I remember the fire over everything." She started, I immediately knew what she was speaking of. "It's as if the fire burned itself into my memories… The only clear memory I have." Her tone suddenly became listless, as did her expression.

"During the fire, I was somewhere dark… In some form of a cellar. As the pain slowly subsided, the surroundings changed. I could hear the movements of wildlife around me, and everything smelled musky and damp. It was still dark wherever I was…." She trailed off, trying to recall something.

"I wish I remembered more.. I have no idea who I am, where I came from." She sighed in defeat.

"Well," I suggested "Continue with the story, maybe we can figure something out."

"The pain stopped, and I opened my eyes to a full moon. I wandered around aimlessly for days, with nothing to guide me but the images… in my head.." She said cautiously.

"Images? Of what?" I questioned.

"Well, in the beginning, just you. I saw us in the diner, you hunting… an dhow much you hated that. I saw us together, and we were much happier. That's how I knew your name, of course."

I was speechless. It's not that I didn't believe her -- I knew all too well of vampires special "abilities."  
No, I was speechless because everything finally made sense. Well, almost everything.

"What did you mean earlier? When you said Jasper Whitlock soon-to-be Hale? And Alice Cullen?" I frowned at the thought of her changing her last name to anything but Whitlock. "Why do our last names changed?" asked with wariness.

"I was getting to that. After I'd spent about a year looking for you, I started getting glimpses of something else -- golden eyes." She said. "Golden eyes that belong to vampires."

I was baffled. "How… can that be?" I'd only ever seen varying shades of black and red on our kind. _Gold?_ I couldn't even picture it.

"Are you sure the golden eyes belong to members of .. Our kind?" I asked doubtfully.

"Calm down, Major Whitlock. Have some patience." Alice teased.

It didn't even surprise me that she knew my history,

"As time passes, I've seen more and more of the golden-eyed Cullen family. They're definitely vampires,… just not the traditional kind." She concluded.

**Silence.**

"Before you ask, yes I do care to explain myself." She smirked.

"This particular clan doesn't have the same… diet, so to speak, as the rest of us do. They.. Don't feed on humans. They feed on wildlife." She said, measuring my expression.

I suppressed a laugh, wanting her to continue. At least that explained the golden eyes and why I'd never seen them in any other vampires.

"They're good people Jasper, I can see that much. That's part for the reasoning for their unusual diet. Why should humans suffer for what we are? I can't say I disagree there."

"I'm not saying I do, it's just.. This is all so.. _Strange._ I wasn't even aware such an existence was possible. But who am I to judge? I've never tried it before." I babbled.

"Huh." Alice said, surprised.

"What?" I asked cautiously.

"Nothing I guess… Well, when I saw myself telling you, you objected much more than you are right now." She said.

"Alice, I will do anything you ask of me. Whatever makes you happy."

"Aw! Well aren't we feeling cheesy today." Alice laughed, a melody of bells and chimes.

I playfully pushed her.

"We can go find this vampire clan.. I won't protest. I do, however, what to know a little more about them. For instance, how many are in this Cullen family?"

"There are five right now. A new member was just added a few years back . There's the leader, Carlisle. A man of kindness, caring, and compassion. His mate, Esme. She's got more love in her than I would have ever guessed to be possible. Carlisle's "son" -- Edward. Edward also had a special talent. Reading minds, He thinks of it more as a curse, than a talent though." She explained.

I can definitely relate to that. How very well I knew what a curse this entire existence could be.

"Do you know anything else?" I asked her.

"Well. It would seem Carlisle has a… rather interesting career." She finished.

**Careers?**Man, this family **is **weird.

"How so?" I asked trying to hold back shock.

" He's an, um.." Alice cleared her throat. "Doctor. In the E.R."

"Uh. That's possible?"

"Yes. Carlisle is an older vampire. He has overcome his thirst, developing a tolerance for being around humans. He doesn't even feel the thirst around humans anymore. He hunts much less than the others."

"Oh." Was all I could manage,

I marveled in the silence that now hung around us. Finally, I could form a coherent question.

"What about the other two? You said there were five?"

"Ah, yes. Rosalie Lillian Hale and Emmett McCarty Cullen. I don't know a whole lot about them. Emmett is the new member, though." She admitted.

"So… we're going to an unknown location, to find a family we know virtually nothing about… to live in a lifestyle we only just found out about?" I joked.

She giggled. "Pretty much, yeah."

"Okay then. Lets go."

She smiled a smile of contentment as we strode off into the forest hand in hand.

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**  
Long enough for you:) Just to let you know, this is WITH the editing. I took a few irrelevant parts out. I already have about four or five pags of chapter five written&done in mah notebook. So don't fret -- updates sometime early this week. Thanks for all the support, my loyal reviewers. With all my love, -- G.**


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